You aren't required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. - Author UnknownThis quote is a wonderful metaphor for all those times in your life when you have believed that you should abandon your needs for someone else’s. 

A successful life consists of negotiations—with spouses, children, bosses, co-workers, other drivers on the road, and the rest of the people that you bump into as you do life. Some negotiations are simple and they barely register on your radar, while others are big and require lots of thought and energy. 

When you’re faced with a negotiation where others have strong opinions or needs, it’s so important that you PAUSE and consider what you need and want. In some cases you will have a clear sense of what you want, but in others you may have no idea of what you need. 

Pausing gives you time to determine the importance to you, or your family, or your team. Once you know the importance, you can you step in and negotiate from a place of awareness.
It can be hard to stand confidently in your own needs in the face of others’ disappointment or strong disagreement, especially when you care about the other person. 

While it’s hard to disappoint others, living with that disappointment is part of being an adult—you care about them and you will disappoint them. 
Life is full of negotiations, large and small. They’ll go better if you can stay connected to what you need and want while also staying connected to the people you care about in your life. 

They’re not mutually exclusive—you can get your needs met and work to support others getting their needs met as well. 

Spend some time this week reviewing the negotiations in your life and make sure that you look for ways to meet your needs and the other person’s needs as well. 

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