Last week, we asked you to consider doing some spring cleaning with your priorities, as a way to reflect and assess if you’re living according to the things that matter most to you.
Since then, we’ve heard from some of you that “creating healthy boundaries” is one of your top priorities, but you’re having a difficult time putting it into action.
We appreciate you sharing this with us, so today, we’re reviewing with you a simple framework that can be a game-changer, in creating and maintaining healthy boundaries.
Before we share the framework, we’d like to remind you of our definition of leadership:
“Leadership is the willingness
to influence your world
and the willingness
to be influenced by the your world,
regardless of role or title.”
In everything you do, if you seek to influence others and allow them to influence you, you’ll find better engagement and alignment.
When it comes to setting healthy boundaries, people often worry that they’ll come across as mean or aggressive. This can certainly be the case if you’re only trying to influence the other person.
Creating healthy boundaries isn’t about being mean. It’s about influencing them with your needs and then allowing them to influence you with theirs, by looking for the space between YES and NO.
Here are a couple of examples of what this could look like:
Yes, and…
- A program manager asks you to take on a new graphics project that wasn’t completed before the previous designer left.
- You could say something like, “Yes, I’d love to work on that, and I’m overwhelmed right now. Is this something that can be done at a later date? If so, could you reach out to me again in a month or so?”
No, and…
- A colleague asks you to step in and put together a last minute financial assessment for a new potential client.
- You could say something like, “No, I’m overwhelmed and don’t see any end in sight, and I’d be happy to hop on a quick call with you to walk you through how to do it, or to brainstorm someone else who might be available.”
• • •
Both of these answers let people know that you care about them (they influence you), the work/project/task they’re asking you to do, AND that you care about yourself as well (you influence them).
Remember, if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t have the energy, interest, or focus to do the things that really matter in your life!
We suggest thinking about the possibility of saying Yes, and… or No, and…, the next time someone asks you to add something to your already overflowing plate.
There are, of course, many ways to word these sentences. Try out some phrases that work for you and let us know how it goes.
We’re here if you need us.
If you’d like support
creating or maintaing
healthy boundaries,
contact us today.
