Combating NW Nice

 There is something of an epidemic plaguing businesses in the Pacific Northwest called Northwest Nice (NW Nice).  NW Nice is an affliction whereby a business professional will smile and speak collaboratively about an issue or a person in a public forum but later, will attack and/or undermine the very same issue or person behind closed doors.   The problem with this disease is that the afflicted rarely believe they have the ailment. They deny their behaviors and imply that “others”…

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Celebrating Success

We often hear complaints about bosses who only focus on what is not working and never acknowledge and celebrate what is going well.  Other clients describe their experience of bosses who have nothing to say about their performance until they have made a mistake.  Some clients even describe their belief that their bosses are lying in wait – ready to pounce on the one bad thing that happens; so, we thought we would take a few moments to look at…

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How to Disagree without being Disagreeable

Throughout our lives, there are times (sometimes many times) when we disagree with someone about an issue.  Whether that person is someone we work with, live with, or relate to on a regular basis, knowing how to disagree with them without being disagreeable in an important skill that will increase your effectiveness and personal power. Two basic things are required to effectively disagree with someone without being disagreeable, the first is knowledge of oneself and second, communication skills.   Let’s look…

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5 Steps to Effectively Attack the Problem

Last week we talked about the importance of attacking the problem and leaving the people associated with the problem intact. Today we want to offer you some guidelines for doing so effectively.  In 1981, Roger Fisher and William Ury wrote a game-changing book called Getting to Yes. They were the first to change the conversation about how to go into a negotiation.  Their work has dramatically changed the world’s perspective on how to approach tough issues with a level of…

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Providing Effective Feedback to Others

In the last few weeks, we’ve explored how to receive and integrate feedback that you receive on your performance or behavior.  Today, we are going to look to the other side of the equation and explore how to provide effective feedback to others.  As with receiving feedback, there are specific steps to take that will help you to provide feedback to another person in a way that will minimize defensiveness, create an opportunity for discussion, and allow for the greatest…

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Integrating Feedback with Skill and Grace, Finale

In the first Integrating Feedback with Skill and Grace post we outlined the 3 key steps for integrating feedback about your performance: Work with what you’ve heard Prepare for the next meeting Meet again  Last week, we looked closely at the second step Prepare for the Next Meeting and today we’re going to focus on the final step:  Step 3. Meet Again  By now, you should have finished the first two steps of the process of integrating the feedback.  The…

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Integrating Feedback with Skill and Grace, Part 2

In last week’s post, Integrating Feedback with Skill and Grace, we outlined the 3 key steps for integrating feedback about your performance: 1.  Work with what you’ve heard 2.  Prepare for the next meeting 3.  Meet again Last week, we looked closely at the first step Working with What You’ve Heard and today we’re going to focus on the second step: Step 2. Prepare for the next meeting The goal in the follow-up meeting is two-fold. The first is to…

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