emotional intelligence

Understanding the Experience of Others

Last week, we talked about the three questions you can ask to more fully understand your experience and to move toward taking action at your best. This week, we want to go through those same three questions as they apply to others in your world, and we add a fourth question that guides your leadership. 

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What Burdens Is That Other Person Carrying?

This week, we want to share with you an article that we read recently. The article is written by Carl Richards and appeared in the New York Times. We’ve pasted the article in the body of the post, but you can also click to read the article here. As you’ll see, the article is about empathy, and understanding that all of us will–at some time–be dealing with something that rocks us to our core. The trouble is that for most…

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If You Toss Someone a Grenade…

If you toss a group a grenade…they will run for cover.   Starting a conversation with accusations or anger is akin to tossing a grenade into a room and expecting people to want to play “catch.”   No matter how valuable your insight or how accurate your concern, the act of grenade tossing will result in people not hearing you because they’re consumed with ducking for cover.   In talking to a client about his accusatory behavior he stated, “But…

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The Fundamental Pause

As coaches, we get hired because people – despite the best of intentions – are struggling to change the things that are getting in the way of their success. Our goal is to help you recognize and overcome those habitual reactions that keep the changes you’re working toward from taking hold. The key behind the work that we do is helping people manage their reactivity, and to do that we teach them something we designed called, the Fundamental PAUSE. The…

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Is Your Boss a Bookcase?

I’m writing today to share with you a way to understand people that can help you, even under the most trying circumstances, maintain your perspective and choose your responses.  It’s an unusual post as it’s based on a way of thinking that helped me navigate my divorce with more wisdom (or at least with less crazy!). When I was going through my divorce, I made a commitment to myself to do it ‘well.’ We had young kids and I was…

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The Skills That Make You a Great Leader

If you’ve been part of our community for a while, you know that our Work, with a capital W, is helping individuals, teams, and organizations succeed through increasing the leadership of each and every person, regardless of role or title.   As coaches and consultants, we work at the intersection of psychology and business and we know, from 30 years of experience, that the ability to lead requires that you: Pause and manage your reactivity so you can respond powerfully…

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Oprah

Today is Martin Luther King Jr, and to honor his work around civil rights, we want to share with you a present-day voice advocating for a better world. On January 7th at the Golden Globes, Oprah gave a powerful speech about the importance of speaking up. The speech she gave was moving, and the reaction of the audience was equally, if not more, moving. You see, as Oprah spoke, her words fueled their hopes and their conviction for a better…

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I’m Outta Here* . . . *almost

As executive coaches, we often work with clients who are getting ready to take a new job and yet need to stay engaged and effective until they formally leave their position. Being able to stay engaged is really important not only to your self-esteem and your colleagues’ last impressions of you but also to your reputation – so it’s important that you do it well. So, what can you do to stay engaged when you know you’re moving on? Put…

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when fear grabs you by the throat

When FEAR Grabs You By the Throat

This week, we got a call from a client who asked to meet immediately. He came into the office and said he was “freaked out” after a meeting with a key client. He explained that, as a consultant himself, he’d gone to meet with a client—an important and quite large corporate client—and the COO had implied there were concerns about a project he’d worked on for the company. He said that he’d been professional and open in the conversation, but…

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