This is Linda writing to you today about something that recently happened with me.
Last week, I shared with the executive assistant at a client’s office that, “This morning, I hate everyone!” The EA’s response? “I do too, this morning!”
As I was sharing this experience with the team at CSC, I laughed and said, “Don’t worry, I don’t hate you guys . . . yet.”
Again, we all laughed but recognized that there are days when the world is frustrating. We don’t have the same resilience we do most days, and we experience everyone else as “the problem.”
As we talked about what had me hating everyone, we decided that this would make a great post.
What can you do on those mornings when you hate everyone?
Now to be clear, I’m not really the hating type, but I’d woken up very tired. I was worn down by some recent dental work and the accompanying ongoing pain, and then traffic was nuts, someone cut me off and threw me the finger, and then I heard some national news that was wholly disheartening . . . all leaving me feeling like I just hated everyone.
Even as I thought it and said it, it made me laugh and gave me perspective because what I understand (most of the time) is that I’m responsible for my life and my satisfaction, so even when others are doing things that are irritating, they aren’t to blame for my emotional life.
I, and I alone, am responsible for my emotional life
and when I began to believe that (sometime in my 30’s or 40’s)
life got much better.
By being responsible for my emotional life, I can take action on my own behalf to create greater satisfaction and self-care. If others are responsible for my emotional life, then I have to wait for them to change. I have to wait for them to treat me differently, or care about my internal world in order to get back to my center and to the work of creating a life I love.
I become much more powerful when I own that I’m responsible for my emotional life.
So, what can you do on those days when you start to feel like you hate everyone? How can you claim responsibility for your own emotional life?
- PAUSE. Always pause. Ask yourself what you need, what would nurture your soul, what would be caring for you.
- Take yourself seriously, while not taking yourself so seriously that you actually hate everyone. Recognize that life is feeling hard right now and it’s OK to know that.
- Remind yourself that you matter. Knowing that this is hard and reminding yourself that you matter will help you take care of yourself during this time.
- Take care of yourself.
Life can really challenge us – all of us, and it’s not that there’s something wrong with you. But you may find that you need the support of a therapist or coach to get back to your center and grow in your ability to take responsibility for your own emotional life. This, like everything else you must learn, takes practice and patience.
We are sending you hugs!
~ Linda, Stephanie, and Heather