We often post about our leadership principles, how we use them with clients, and how you can use them as well. Recently, some of you have asked us which of our principles are the ones we personally use the most and which of those we struggle with.
These are great questions! We’re happy to share with you what leadership looks like in each of our lives.
Today, you’ll hear from Linda about the Reflecting and Small Steps frameworks, and then over the next two weeks, you’ll hear from Stephanie and Heather respectively.
Here’s what Linda’s leadership looks like:
Reflecting
My “go to” is Reflecting from our Leader in You® framework.
As you may recall, our leadership model has three steps that can be taken in order or individually:
- Pause to ask yourself if what you’re about to say or do is in alignment with your goals.
- Reflect on what’s going on inside of you and inside those you’re trying to lead.
- Act with POWER is practicing the five important actions leaders need to master, to create success.
Out of those steps, I most often use the Reflect piece. In particular, reflecting upon what’s going on inside of me using our guiding questions can be a game-changer.
The guiding questions are:
- What am I afraid of in this situation?
- What do I typically do when I feel that?
- What would I do if I felt safe?
As a consulting psychologist, I know that our brains are always looking for threats. In fact, something like 80% of our neurons are involved in detecting threat. This makes sense because our brain is trying to keep us alive.
Unfortunately, that tendency means that we often have an underlying fear that can keep us from taking important action or lead us to react, rather than considering how to respond.
When I’m procrastinating or getting caught up in something that really doesn’t matter in the immediate or long term, I ask myself these questions. The answers often help me to understand beliefs or fears that are below the surface so that I can take action from the best of me – as I would if I felt safe.
Small Steps Consistently Over Time
While I love the tools and frameworks that we have created, I know that change requires small steps taken consistently over time.
My biggest challenge is the
small steps “consistently over time”
part of the work.
Like many of us, I’m good at making a change in a particular situation. BUT, integrating that change into how I live and work is a challenge.
I’ve started to think of this a bit like how experts talk about meditation. They say when you meditate that you can count on your mind wandering. You may lose yourself in things like memories, plans for the future, or making your grocery list. The goal is not to beat yourself up for that but to expect it and gently bring yourself back to your meditation practice.
When I’m making a change, I can count on the fact that I’ll get distracted, forget all about the change I was trying to make, and fall back into old patterns. When I notice I’ve done so, my goal is to be gentle with myself about getting back on track with practicing whatever I’ve decided to change.
We’d love to hear what tools of ours you use regularly, and those areas where you struggle. Change is a process that takes time and choice, and we’re here to help as you move forward with yours!
If you’re looking to make a work or life change and would like support, contact us today.