Two weeks ago, we talked about Our Wounds and that trauma can come from a range of experiences. Your trauma may come from events growing up in your family, living a life in this world, or making it through a Pandemic.
We all experience wounding – that’s the nature of being human and being alive. And, we deserve to address and respect these wounds.
So, if we think of trauma as those experiences that cause us to…
- disconnect from ourselves
- numb our feelings
- tamp down our needs
- get tough to make it through
- get manipulative to get what we need
…then it’s clear to see that as a nation and as a world, we’re dealing with trauma in response to a broad range of current and past events.
We’re hearing from you that you feel the world is big and overwhelming, the demands of this time feel endless, and you’re feeling smaller and smaller. You feel you’re losing any agency you once had to navigate life in ways that matter to you.
There are several things you can do to reconnect with yourself and move forward, even if the movement is slow.
Grieving is the way we integrate death, yes, but also new truths or realities that have changed our worlds, or even for a future we had envisioned.
Think of your life as a tapestry of many colors of threads. When something significant happens in your life, you often need to remove some of the threads that have been there for a long time. Plus, you have a bundle of new threads that must be woven in. During this time, you may feel like you’re unstable, falling apart, or off-balance. Remember, this makes sense. Your world is changing.
A current example we’re hearing often is the loss of in-person connection at work.
If you’re currently working from home, you may need to grieve the loss of seeing people you enjoy, sharing your accomplishments with each other, and being enlivened by others’ energy.
Those threads (and there will be many of them if you have worked together for a while), will need to come out while weaving in new ones.
The new threads could be the new ways you connect with your team virtually or that you’ve created a nice space at home to work. Maybe it’s that you’re finding ways to build phone chats, walks, and lunches into your days so that you have regular connections with people you care about.
This may seem like a small thing for some of you but for others, it’s really rocked your worlds. We all experience these things differently and what’s wounding and destabilizing for one person is just a blip for another. Not because one is saner, healthier, or smarter, but because we all have our needs, preferences, and historical wounds that shape our experience of today.
SHAPE YOUR ENVIRONMENT.
One thing that helps people feel more agency is when they’re moving around in a world where they see and feel connected to themselves.
Look around the space where you live and work. Consider what you can do to make it support and nourish you more.
If you share space with others you may have to work with them to see if they’re comfortable with your changes. You don’t necessarily have to make big changes to create a supportive and nourishing environment.
Shaping your environment can be as simple as buying yourself fresh flowers or a small plant that you love. It can mean moving a lamp or adding a blanket to your favorite chair. Maybe it’s rearranging furniture or adding inspiring quotes or a favorite photo to your wall.
Remember, a significant part of trauma and wounding is a disconnection from yourself. Consider what you can do to create an environment that helps you find that connection.
CONNECT WITH YOUR PRIORITIES.
We’ve seen, time and again, as people are struggling with the challenges of this time, it can help to articulate their priorities and then take steps to bring them to life.
As some of you know, we have a life priorities exercise that can support you in identifying what’s most important to you going forward. If you’d like a copy of that exercise, click here to let us know and we’ll send it to you.
Once you’ve identified your life priorities, write down your top 3-5 and put them somewhere you’ll be apt to see them regularly.
We’d also recommend that you think about what you need from your work to achieve your life priorities. Then, consider what you need from your personal life to achieve them.
Once you get clarity on these, you’ll be more apt to make mindful decisions.
Take some time this week to see if you can reconnect with yourself.
Let us know how it goes. We’re here for you.